I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
