I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
