Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I love black thongs
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
