My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
