Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
