Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
