I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
