Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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