I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
