dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
