forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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