Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
