We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
