somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was like eating out sand paper
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
