You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Vodka?
Forever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
