Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
