So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
