So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
