You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
