Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
