do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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