We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize