Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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