Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
