I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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