guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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