yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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