Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she smelled like a LAN party
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
