We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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