Me. At least after what I've been through.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
