Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
