Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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