I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
