Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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