with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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