David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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