is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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