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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
