That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
how does that bad decision feel?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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