my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize