u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
