My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
