ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
