once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
