I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
