My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
