Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize