that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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