hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
