her vagine was all disorganized.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
