my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
