Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
