Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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