sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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