I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize