I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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