you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
