We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
