I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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