we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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