dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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