He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
