I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
