Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
