his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
