Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wish i was in the wii world.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize