Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
