I hate your face
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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